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Dear Intern Wife…

2 Jul

July 1st (or 2nd in this case) is the beginning of the medical year. It is when all med students, interns, residents, and fellows start their brand new year. And for some, this is the very beginning of the journey.

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Dear Intern Wife,

Today is a big day, an exciting day! Not just for your husband, but for you too!

You are embarking on a new chapter that is part of your unique story. This chapter will bring you challenges, it will bring you joy, it will teach you lessons, it will test you, and it will strengthen you.

You may be in the same city that you lived in during medical school. You might have moved away from family or closer to family. Maybe you moved across the country to a brand new city where you don’t know a soul.

But where ever you are, know that you are not alone.

There will be times that you feel alone because

  • friends and family don’t understand your situation
  • your husband isn’t around as much as you’d like
  • you don’t have any friends in this new town
  • you don’t want to ask for help or
  • you don’t know who to ask for help
  • well…you don’t know why, but you just feel lonely

but know that there are many other women who have traveled down this road.

And they know.

I know.

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And sometimes that’s all you need…a connection with someone else who knows what you are going through.

You will make it through.

And you will be better because of it.

Your husband is a lucky guy to have such a wonderful lady who supports him and is walking alongside him through this next chapter.

I am excited for you.

And please don’t ever forget…you are so much stronger than you think you are.

love & blessings & virtual {{{hugs}}},

Amber

P.S. It’s one thing to know the fact that other women have gone through this too, but if you can’t connect with them, then it still feels pretty lonely. I know this may sound weird (if you don’t know me), but if ever you need someone to talk to,  need some encouragement,  someone to vent to or cry to, please please send me an email, for reals….I’m not kidding…  amberomega@gmail.com and there is also a great group on Facebook you should join.

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10 down, 1 to go

1 Jul

Ten years ago today, we started on this journey.  He received his short white coat on Sunday, June 30, 2002 and medical school began the next day, July 1st. (Our first daughter was born a few weeks later.)

A decade behind us. Wow.

And now we are starting the homestretch.

One more year.

{I think I can…I think I can…}

We bought some bed sheets and cleaning supplies for his little bedroom apartment yesterday.

Today, he packed the essentials,

gave hugs and kisses to the kids and me, and then he left.

Headed 185 miles south on I-65.

It kinda felt like I was sending him off to college.

This all sounds much more dramatic than it actually is. We will see him next weekend. To the kids, it will probably seem like normal. But for me, I’ll watch some chick flicks and stay up late miss him terribly. No really, I will.

I love you Hayden. We can do this.

Call me when you get there.

I Lost My Big Girl Panties

25 Jun

Friday should have been a happy day.

Hayden walked out of the hospital for the last time.

He finished his three year fellowship. Ten years of training under his belt. We only have one more year to go until  all of his training is complete.

I should have been excited. For him. For us.

But I wasn’t.

I was filled with anger, bitterness, and resentment.

I was sad.

The reality that he would be leaving July 1st to work three hours away, finally hit. Hard.

In years past, when I faced challenging situations, rotations, or circumstances regarding his career, I brushed my fears aside, put on my big girl panties, convinced myself I could do it, and plowed through. And it worked…

…until last year.

After crashing and burning, I seem to have lost my big girl panties.

Some people will tell me I have every right to feel angry and bitter and will validate my feelings. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s OK to acknowledge those emotions.

But I don’t want to live there.

I don’t want to stay angry, resentful, bitter.

I have seen other wives go through this process and live in those places. I always told myself I never wanted to do that. But here I was last Friday ready to take up residence in that very lonely place.

Blaming him was a way to justify my angst. But that was a lie. He didn’t do this to me. It’s a decision we made together. It was the best one for our family. I do still believe that. For better or for worse, right? Right.

The funny thing is, after talking crying to my friend about it, I don’t think I really want my big girl panties anymore. I don’t know if I need them.  As long as I have an ear to listen, some arms to hug me, and a few understanding and encouraging words, I think I’m good to go.

Well, for now at least.

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{After Thought}  

Please check back with me in a few weeks. I may need you to buy me a new pair by then! You can get them here. Ooh, or this would work too. Size Medium. Thanks!