Tag Archives: friend

I Lost My Big Girl Panties

25 Jun

Friday should have been a happy day.

Hayden walked out of the hospital for the last time.

He finished his three year fellowship. Ten years of training under his belt. We only have one more year to go until  all of his training is complete.

I should have been excited. For him. For us.

But I wasn’t.

I was filled with anger, bitterness, and resentment.

I was sad.

The reality that he would be leaving July 1st to work three hours away, finally hit. Hard.

In years past, when I faced challenging situations, rotations, or circumstances regarding his career, I brushed my fears aside, put on my big girl panties, convinced myself I could do it, and plowed through. And it worked…

…until last year.

After crashing and burning, I seem to have lost my big girl panties.

Some people will tell me I have every right to feel angry and bitter and will validate my feelings. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s OK to acknowledge those emotions.

But I don’t want to live there.

I don’t want to stay angry, resentful, bitter.

I have seen other wives go through this process and live in those places. I always told myself I never wanted to do that. But here I was last Friday ready to take up residence in that very lonely place.

Blaming him was a way to justify my angst. But that was a lie. He didn’t do this to me. It’s a decision we made together. It was the best one for our family. I do still believe that. For better or for worse, right? Right.

The funny thing is, after talking crying to my friend about it, I don’t think I really want my big girl panties anymore. I don’t know if I need them.  As long as I have an ear to listen, some arms to hug me, and a few understanding and encouraging words, I think I’m good to go.

Well, for now at least.

***

{After Thought}  

Please check back with me in a few weeks. I may need you to buy me a new pair by then! You can get them here. Ooh, or this would work too. Size Medium. Thanks!

My Wednesday Letter {a note of thanks}

18 Apr

I am embarrassed to admit it, but I am a terrible thank you note writer. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I wrote about 13 thank you notes for my wedding (200 guests!), about 7 for baby gifts (I have 4 kids!), and maybe 3 just for random gifts and things over my adult life (16 years!). I know you are horrified. {You can close your mouth now.}

And the sad thing is, is that I LOVE receiving them. When I open them from the mailbox, I always think something like, That is so thoughtful of so & so. She didn’t have to do that. I love her. I’m pretty sure there aren’t too many people saying that about me. I’m working on it, people!

The best kinds of thank you notes, though, aren’t the ones sent to thank you for a present, they are the ones that are sent to thank you for receiving one of the greatest gifts

friendship.

**

Will you join me in writing today’s Wednesday Letter?

I want us each to thank a friend. It could be one from childhood, one we’ve lost touch with, one who was with us for only a short season in life, it could be one we don’t even know very well, one we just met, one that is with us now, or one of our dearest friends . It could even be one we lost and never got the chance to thank.

**

So, I encourage us to each take a few minutes out of our day to stop and reflect about our many blessings called friendship. Then pick up a pen and paper (doesn’t have to be anything fancy) and write a little note of thanks. I guarantee you a smile will greet that little note on the other side.

And to you, my sweet friend…

**

You truly mean so much to me and I am blessed to call you my friend.