Tag Archives: friendship

Dear Intern Wife…

2 Jul

July 1st (or 2nd in this case) is the beginning of the medical year. It is when all med students, interns, residents, and fellows start their brand new year. And for some, this is the very beginning of the journey.

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Dear Intern Wife,

Today is a big day, an exciting day! Not just for your husband, but for you too!

You are embarking on a new chapter that is part of your unique story. This chapter will bring you challenges, it will bring you joy, it will teach you lessons, it will test you, and it will strengthen you.

You may be in the same city that you lived in during medical school. You might have moved away from family or closer to family. Maybe you moved across the country to a brand new city where you don’t know a soul.

But where ever you are, know that you are not alone.

There will be times that you feel alone because

  • friends and family don’t understand your situation
  • your husband isn’t around as much as you’d like
  • you don’t have any friends in this new town
  • you don’t want to ask for help or
  • you don’t know who to ask for help
  • well…you don’t know why, but you just feel lonely

but know that there are many other women who have traveled down this road.

And they know.

I know.

****

And sometimes that’s all you need…a connection with someone else who knows what you are going through.

You will make it through.

And you will be better because of it.

Your husband is a lucky guy to have such a wonderful lady who supports him and is walking alongside him through this next chapter.

I am excited for you.

And please don’t ever forget…you are so much stronger than you think you are.

love & blessings & virtual {{{hugs}}},

Amber

P.S. It’s one thing to know the fact that other women have gone through this too, but if you can’t connect with them, then it still feels pretty lonely. I know this may sound weird (if you don’t know me), but if ever you need someone to talk to,  need some encouragement,  someone to vent to or cry to, please please send me an email, for reals….I’m not kidding…  amberomega@gmail.com and there is also a great group on Facebook you should join.

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I Lost My Big Girl Panties

25 Jun

Friday should have been a happy day.

Hayden walked out of the hospital for the last time.

He finished his three year fellowship. Ten years of training under his belt. We only have one more year to go until  all of his training is complete.

I should have been excited. For him. For us.

But I wasn’t.

I was filled with anger, bitterness, and resentment.

I was sad.

The reality that he would be leaving July 1st to work three hours away, finally hit. Hard.

In years past, when I faced challenging situations, rotations, or circumstances regarding his career, I brushed my fears aside, put on my big girl panties, convinced myself I could do it, and plowed through. And it worked…

…until last year.

After crashing and burning, I seem to have lost my big girl panties.

Some people will tell me I have every right to feel angry and bitter and will validate my feelings. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s OK to acknowledge those emotions.

But I don’t want to live there.

I don’t want to stay angry, resentful, bitter.

I have seen other wives go through this process and live in those places. I always told myself I never wanted to do that. But here I was last Friday ready to take up residence in that very lonely place.

Blaming him was a way to justify my angst. But that was a lie. He didn’t do this to me. It’s a decision we made together. It was the best one for our family. I do still believe that. For better or for worse, right? Right.

The funny thing is, after talking crying to my friend about it, I don’t think I really want my big girl panties anymore. I don’t know if I need them.  As long as I have an ear to listen, some arms to hug me, and a few understanding and encouraging words, I think I’m good to go.

Well, for now at least.

***

{After Thought}  

Please check back with me in a few weeks. I may need you to buy me a new pair by then! You can get them here. Ooh, or this would work too. Size Medium. Thanks!

On Being Lonely

20 Jun

If you look up the word lonely, you will find many definitions, all which imply the absence of people.

I know that kind of lonely. For an extrovert, it’s hard when I don’t have  friends who I get to see and connect with regularly. As much as I love email, Facebook (not currently), texting and even talking on the phone, there is nothing quite like have a face to face conversation ending with a squeeze around the neck.

A few months ago, a friend who used to live here traveled back into town for a visit. She is a beautiful soul and has the kindest heart. An excellent listener, she genuinely wants to hear what you have to say when she asks you a question. She was asked me how I was doing.

{Side note: So, you know when you don’t realize you’re kinda on the emotional edge but then someone asks just the right question or says just the right thing and you can feel the dam in your eyes that have been holding back the tears slowly lowering, ready to gush. And then you are trying your hardest not to start speaking because once the tears come there will be no stopping? Well, that is exactly what happened.}

So as I was cry-talking, or cralking, I realized how lonely I was…as in the absence of people…friends. And I said just that to her.

“I am lonely.”

I’m sure she hugged me and said something really sweet and encouraging, but I don’t remember. What I do remember was what she said next.

I don’t know what is more lonely…not having any friends or having lots of them but feeling like none of them really know you… understand you… “get you.” I lived here for many years and knew lots of people, but often times felt so alone. 

Maybe you know someone who is experiencing this kind of lonely. One where even though surrounded by family and friends, they may feel as if no one really knows them or knows how they feel or knows what they are going through.

Maybe you know someone who is lonely from the absence of others. Someone new to town, someone who lost a loved one, or maybe you have just sensed loneliness in a person.

Or maybe you know someone who is going through a season in life that can be very lonely and you have been through that season too.

Take a few moments today and write a note & send a little love in the mail {a Wednesday Letter!}. Nothing long. Just a little something to let them know that they are known.  Or to let them know that you have been there too...or both!

Well heck, if you don’t have time to find a stamp or address, shoot them a text or an email, or maybe call to say “Hi, I was just thinking of you.”

Just do something.

And if you are reading this and thinking…I know someone like that… myself…I want you to know

you are loved.

XOXO

Amber

***

P.S. Thank you Lisa for the love that showed up in my mailbox. Just knowing that you know, is so very encouraging.

My Wednesday Letter {a note of thanks}

18 Apr

I am embarrassed to admit it, but I am a terrible thank you note writer. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I wrote about 13 thank you notes for my wedding (200 guests!), about 7 for baby gifts (I have 4 kids!), and maybe 3 just for random gifts and things over my adult life (16 years!). I know you are horrified. {You can close your mouth now.}

And the sad thing is, is that I LOVE receiving them. When I open them from the mailbox, I always think something like, That is so thoughtful of so & so. She didn’t have to do that. I love her. I’m pretty sure there aren’t too many people saying that about me. I’m working on it, people!

The best kinds of thank you notes, though, aren’t the ones sent to thank you for a present, they are the ones that are sent to thank you for receiving one of the greatest gifts

friendship.

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Will you join me in writing today’s Wednesday Letter?

I want us each to thank a friend. It could be one from childhood, one we’ve lost touch with, one who was with us for only a short season in life, it could be one we don’t even know very well, one we just met, one that is with us now, or one of our dearest friends . It could even be one we lost and never got the chance to thank.

**

So, I encourage us to each take a few minutes out of our day to stop and reflect about our many blessings called friendship. Then pick up a pen and paper (doesn’t have to be anything fancy) and write a little note of thanks. I guarantee you a smile will greet that little note on the other side.

And to you, my sweet friend…

**

You truly mean so much to me and I am blessed to call you my friend.