Tag Archives: marriage

10 down, 1 to go

1 Jul

Ten years ago today, we started on this journey.  He received his short white coat on Sunday, June 30, 2002 and medical school began the next day, July 1st. (Our first daughter was born a few weeks later.)

A decade behind us. Wow.

And now we are starting the homestretch.

One more year.

{I think I can…I think I can…}

We bought some bed sheets and cleaning supplies for his little bedroom apartment yesterday.

Today, he packed the essentials,

gave hugs and kisses to the kids and me, and then he left.

Headed 185 miles south on I-65.

It kinda felt like I was sending him off to college.

This all sounds much more dramatic than it actually is. We will see him next weekend. To the kids, it will probably seem like normal. But for me, I’ll watch some chick flicks and stay up late miss him terribly. No really, I will.

I love you Hayden. We can do this.

Call me when you get there.

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I Lost My Big Girl Panties

25 Jun

Friday should have been a happy day.

Hayden walked out of the hospital for the last time.

He finished his three year fellowship. Ten years of training under his belt. We only have one more year to go until  all of his training is complete.

I should have been excited. For him. For us.

But I wasn’t.

I was filled with anger, bitterness, and resentment.

I was sad.

The reality that he would be leaving July 1st to work three hours away, finally hit. Hard.

In years past, when I faced challenging situations, rotations, or circumstances regarding his career, I brushed my fears aside, put on my big girl panties, convinced myself I could do it, and plowed through. And it worked…

…until last year.

After crashing and burning, I seem to have lost my big girl panties.

Some people will tell me I have every right to feel angry and bitter and will validate my feelings. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s OK to acknowledge those emotions.

But I don’t want to live there.

I don’t want to stay angry, resentful, bitter.

I have seen other wives go through this process and live in those places. I always told myself I never wanted to do that. But here I was last Friday ready to take up residence in that very lonely place.

Blaming him was a way to justify my angst. But that was a lie. He didn’t do this to me. It’s a decision we made together. It was the best one for our family. I do still believe that. For better or for worse, right? Right.

The funny thing is, after talking crying to my friend about it, I don’t think I really want my big girl panties anymore. I don’t know if I need them.  As long as I have an ear to listen, some arms to hug me, and a few understanding and encouraging words, I think I’m good to go.

Well, for now at least.

***

{After Thought}  

Please check back with me in a few weeks. I may need you to buy me a new pair by then! You can get them here. Ooh, or this would work too. Size Medium. Thanks!

Being Taken Care Of

13 Apr

My husband takes care of people for a living. He works long hours. Usually when he comes home, he’s so exhausted that he just collapses. {I secretly take pictures of him when he accidentally falls asleep… hee hee} So sometimes, when he get home from work we don’t always get the best of him. Sometimes, it’s just the left overs. Not his fault. Just the nature of the beast.

Yesterday afternoon, I was out with the kids in the backyard when my throat started hurting, really bad. My head ached and just felt yucky.

I was sick.

Thankfully, my guy came home early. It was about 5:15pm when he walked in the door. I asked it I could please sneak away to our room and take a little nap.

He said yes.

I woke up around 9pm to him serving me grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup in bed.

**

We didn’t have those things in the pantry so I knew he had run to the store.

Oh, how I felt so loved.

Then he fed me ever so sweetly.

Um, no he didn’t. But it sounded good.

He crawled into bed, and we watched New Girl on Hulu.

   **

Have you seen this? It cracks me up!

We concluded that there is a lot of sex going on in that show. Me and my naive self chooses to think that all that sleeping around doesn’t happen in the real world.

And so, I continue to live happily in my denial sheltered bubble.

Anyway, it wasn’t the evening I had planned, (had lots to get done and missed something I was supposed to go to), but it ended up being so restful and relaxing. All because my guy took such good care of me.

And he didn’t even get paid for it. Well, at least not monetarily… {wink wink}.  Just kidding.

Maybe.